O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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