It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
