i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
you traded sex for a burrito?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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