we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize