No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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