Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
