I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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