I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
