I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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