dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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