I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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