and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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