ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
