So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
