Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
