i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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