How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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