Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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