I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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