He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
