I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
