It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
