we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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