The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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