We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
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