I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize