remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
