I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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