break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Randomize