well you can't waste a boner
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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