There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
