Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
