Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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