I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Randomize
