Barsexuality is the new black.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
We're using joints as your birthday candles
NoShamevember. You game?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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