yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
