She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
