I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize