let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Randomize