OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
