just tell him i said nine months
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
