Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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