Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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