Barsexuality is the new black.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
