Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
