it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
and you fell through a lawn chair
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
