I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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