I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
