It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
