we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
