We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
