At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Randomize
