OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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