Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Randomize