Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
