her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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