do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
