Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
