So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
