Is it normal to miss your booty call?
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
