You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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