I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
