Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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