Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
