i always forget guys have bellybuttons
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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